I have an addiction!
“I have a problem. I can’t stop. I think I am addicted.”
It was the first time that I ever told someone. I had been keeping it a secret for years. Hiding in fear, embarrassment, and living in a perpetual shame storm. No one knew. I believed they could never find out. What would people say of me? Until one day, I couldn’t hold it in any longer and I told someone.
RELIEF … FREEDOM …
Were the feelings that I had immediately after I told someone. I was so surprised. I thought I would feel even more guilt and shame. I thought the person that I told would be disgusted. They were not. They just listened, encouraged, showed love and empathy and helped me set on a new path of healing, connection and alignment.
Something powerful happened that day. I took a big brave step into the light…
Did you know that shame can’t survive in the light? I learned that from Brené Brown:
"IF YOU PUT SHAME IN A PETRI DISH, IT NEEDS THREE THINGS TO GROW EXPONENTIALLY: SECRECY, SILENCE AND JUDGMENT. IF YOU PUT THE SAME AMOUNT OF SHAME IN A PETRI DISH AND DOUSE IT WITH EMPATHY, IT CAN’T SURVIVE,"
My shame lost its crippling power and paralysis the day I told someone and I was met with EMPATHY.
Note the word EMPATHY… my shame was met with EMPATHY. Brené shares the importance of connecting with people who have earned the right to hear your story. I didn’t confess my sins first on the internet or to strangers. I was in the company of a trusted professional, a therapist actually. She was a safe space, she knew how to handle the weight of my big feelings and experiences and she provided love, empathy, connection and helpful direction for my next steps.
Shame is paralyzing. It robs us of our freedom and joy. That is no way to live. We all deserve to live lives filled with love and light. It is our birthright.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, BELONGING, AND CONNECTION. YOU ARE ENOUGH.
If you find yourself reading this and feel weighted down by the burden of guilt and shame,
I SEE YOU. I HEAR YOU.
It is my mission to help you feel connected and loved. I create art work that reminds you of your inherent worthiness. Making the art is my own spiritual practice of claiming my birthright and divine worthiness. I am working right alongside of you to manage my mental health and clear out the bullshit lies and to live in the light. You are not alone!
You belong here. I know it is hard and scary but please do everything you can in life to find safe spaces and empathetic souls that will help you see the truth that you are worthy and you are enough.
Sending you love and light,
Jill