How do you quit mothering?

I used to believe that a real artist was someone who made art with ease and effortlessly without making mistakes. I couldn’t do that. My art making process was hard, required time, practice, perseverance and was filled with errors. That made me feel like something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t enough… so I quit making art. 

I quit a lot of things growing up. The only thing that I didn’t quit was quitting. I successfully stopped pursuing anything that put a bright spotlight on my weaknesses... that was until I became a mother.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I wanted to quit that too when I started. I had no idea what I was doing, everyone seemed to be doing it better and motherhood was not what I expected or very fulfilling. 

But I couldn’t figure out how to quit mothering legally or morally so I went to therapy instead #momwin

In therapy, I began unpacking my feelings of unworthiness and that pervading feeling that no matter what I did it was never enough. Over time, I began to let go of the shame and guilt and I adopted a new mindset that I learned from Brené Brown:

“I am worthy of love, belonging and connection”

“I am enough”

I learned how to:

• Give myself permission to try something new

• Make mistakes

• NOT QUIT

• Gather information about the process I was experiencing.

• Apply the knowledge I was learning and give myself permission to TRY AGAIN!!!

That is how I came around to making art again.

The picture that I made for this post has mistakes. As you watch the video of me making it on Instagram, you can see that I erased and made changes. I look at the final product and it’s not the best I’ve ever made. But I’m choosing to let that all be ok. I’m choosing to gather information from the process rather than have it serve as an indicator of my worth and value as an artist.

My art skills may be debatable in certain circles but,

My worth is no longer up for negotiation.

What is your mind telling you when you try something new? Have you quit making art because of the negative chatter?

Sending you love & light 💗

Jill